When you think of confidence, what comes to mind? What do you think of? What do you see in your mind’s eye? How do you relate to confidence for yourself?
How important is confidence to you, in your life overall, and in your work? How consistent is your confidence? Does it change over time – in the longer term or from day to day or from situation to situation? What difference does having confidence or not having confidence make for you?
The Oxford English Dictionary defines confidence as
- the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something;
- the state of feeling certain about the truth of something;
- a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities; and also
- the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust.
The word confidence comes from the latin word confidentia, from confidere which means to ‘have full trust’.
When we talk about having confidence or being confident, we are usually thinking of the third ‘feeling’ meaning – self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations.
Our sense of confidence imbues us with the personal power to be all we can be – to do more, to do it better, to have a go at something new, to achieve our dreams and more. Confidence is the foundation for our success – in whatever way success is meaningful to us.
Confidence makes the difference in life, as it gives us the means to be who we really want to be, to express ourselves with ease, to be comfortable with people and in ourselves, to stretch out of our comfort zone, to know that we CAN do what we want to do and to take the first step towards making it happen. Luckily everyone can learn confidence, though it is not just a skill you can learn by applying a set of rules. Confidence is an attitude or state of mind that sits at the very core of our being and transforms our life in a positive way. Confidence is the outcome of a whole lot of things including our experiences (and the way we think about them), personality, emotional well-being, self-awareness, and our thinking style which can include how we make decisions and solve problems or find solutions. Learning confidence is a journey about changing your state of mind by raising your awareness and changing the way you think, the way you see things and interact with the world.
In my view,
Learning confidence leaves behind the “I can’ts” and opens the doors to your brave new world full of “I cans” and possibilities, where you SEE and seize the opportunities that come your way.
Learning confidence dares you to listen to your heart and tap into your motivation and ambition and only then let your rational brain work on how to achieve that. Confidence opens the way for ‘I will’, ‘I want to’ and ‘I like to’ and leaves behind the ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and ‘have tos’. Confidence lets you stop giving priority to your brain ‘rationally’ talking you out of what you want, to settle for an alternative option only because it is safer or expected of you or … the list can be endless and not always true! Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not talking about absconding from responsibility or taking on a self-centred hedonistic life style where all you think about is you and what you want. I’m talking about changing the way you think about your responsibilities so you want to do them and feel positive about them, rather than just complying and feeling you should do them but don’t really want to. Maybe that also involves learning the confidence to say no in a positive way. I’m talking about knowing yourself, assessing your strengths, your personal values and purpose and what you want from life and making sure you follow the road to make that happen by ensuring the things you do are in harmony with who you really are. Assess whether you are in the right job for you – does it or could it ever give you fulfilment? What do you need for fulfilment? What do you give and get from your relationships?
Learning confidence gives you personal power to be yourself and let your own light shine.
Hello confident you!
“If you let your own light shine it gives others permission to do the same” Nelson Mandela
If you would like to talk to me about coaching around being more confident, please do get in touch. You can also check out our online confidence coaching programmes on www.aeonacoaching.com or see the Aeona webpage for more information about what I do: www.aeona.co.uk
Sue Mitchell email: firstname.lastname@example.org telephone +44 1875 830708 or use the contact form below – please make sure you spell your email address correctly for me to be able to reply to you.